Kris Jenner’s Latest Venture Is Her Best Idea Yet

Kris Jenner officiated a wedding event this weekend , indicating the mean expense of a wedding event nowadays simply increased by like $100k. TBH, this is a dazzling beyond dazzling company choice. Not that we ‘d anticipate anything less from the lady who turned her child’s sex tape into an empire. She might most likely charge as much as among Khlo’s 1Oak looks for checking out a paragraph and phony weeping. Just how much would you spend for Kris Jenner to state to you, after you’ve strolled down the aisle, “You’re doing remarkable sweetheart?” Take my cash now.

The wedding event was for 2 individuals you’ve most likely never ever become aware of unless you’re some shit or a teen: Colton Haynes from and Jeff Leatham, the creative director of the Four Seasons. Idk about these 2, however Kris isn’t really precisely the tutelary saint of effective marital relationships. In between her 2 divorces, her affair, and her situationship with Corey Gamble, it does not appear like her true blessing implies a lot.

But exactly what is a Kris Jenner wedding event like? I’ve seen her strategy a wedding event in 12 days and have her wedding event ideas overlooked since Kanye does not like her taste, however how does Kris “It’s An Emergency: We Don’t Have A Wine Opener” Jenner officiate a wedding event?

Obvi the only method to imagine this was to re-write standard swears with a Kris style. Don’t hesitate to utilize them at your very own wedding event:

I, Colton Haynes, take you Jeff Leatham, to be my legally wedded– so do not pull a Kris Humphries and attempt to get an annulment 72 days from now– other half.

To have and to hold, with an airtight prenup, from this day forward. Till I apply for divorce or you provide a tell-all interview to.

For much better (a September cover), for even worse (an overdose in a Las Vegas whorehouse).

For richer ($500,000 per Instagram post), for poorer (the yearly sales of the Arthur George sock line).

In illness (post-face lift) and in health (throughout a FitTea detox).

Until death, or different houses in Calabasas, do us part.

Amen.

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